Positive Intelligence
Positive Intelligence
Jan 23, 2026
By Michelle Peticolas
Have you ever noticed how emotions like anger, stress, resentment, or overwhelm seem to stick around far longer than you want them to? You calm down logically, but your body and mind stay tense — replaying the moment, draining your energy, and quietly affecting how you show up at work, at home, and with the people you care about.
This isn’t a personal failure. It’s biology.
Negative emotions are not “bad” — they’re survival signals. Think of touching a hot stove. The pain isn’t the problem; it’s the message. Your brain remembers that pain so you don’t do it again. The trouble begins when your mind keeps replaying the burn long after your hand is safe.
Many of our emotional reactions were formed early in life as protection strategies. As children, we adapted to our environments the best way we knew how. Maybe you became a people-pleaser to stay safe, avoid conflict, or gain approval. That strategy may have helped you then — but as an adult, it can quietly sabotage your boundaries, confidence, and well-being.
Positive Intelligence® describes this as the survival brain versus the sage brain.
The survival brain reacts automatically, fueled by fear, judgment, and old patterns. It’s fast — but not wise. When it takes over, we feel stressed, defensive, resentful, or emotionally overwhelmed.
The sage brain, on the other hand, is calm, curious, and resourceful. It helps us respond instead of react. The key isn’t eliminating negative emotions — it’s learning to notice them quickly and shift out of survival mode before they take over.
One simple tool to do this is a PQ rep, a short mindfulness exercise that brings you back into the present moment. By focusing on physical sensations — your breath, your feet on the floor, or the feeling of your fingertips — you interrupt the emotional spiral and re-engage the wiser part of your brain. It takes less than a minute, and you can use it anywhere.
Awareness is the first step to change. When you learn to recognize your emotional triggers and identify your personal “saboteur” patterns, you gain choice. And with choice comes freedom — to perform better, build healthier relationships, and experience greater emotional well-being.
You don’t need to stop feeling — you just need to stop letting old survival patterns run the show.
Dr. Michelle Peticolas is an international speaker, Distinguished Toastmaster, Select Distinguished Area Director, Speechcraft Executive Director, Co-Chair for 2025 District 57 Speech Contests and a successful club coach. She is also the VP of Education for Heart2Heart Toastmasters.
Founder of Secrets of Life and Death, she helps high-achieving mid-life women thrown off track by a major loss to heal their grief, make peace with their past, and reclaim their life, motivation and authentic vision.
Our club meetings are:
The 2nd and 4th Thursday of every month on Zoom from 6-7 pm PT and the 1st Saturday of every month on Zoom (with the goal to find a new location to become Hybrid again) from 3:30 PM to 6 PM PT.
Register here for the 2nd Thursday meeting: https://bit.ly/Heart2Heart2ndThursdayMeeting
Register here for the 4th Thursday meeting: https://bit.ly/H2HThursday
Register here for the Saturday meeting: https://bit.ly/H2HSaturdayMeeting